Last Song
by CynickBlue
Summary: [Songfic] Yohji mourning the loss of Omi, Yohji self-blame


I posted this in 2000/2001, I can't really remember since it is quite some time ago.

Since I am clearing my fics and all that, decided that I should at least post some of my older stuff up on ff.net.

So here goes.

Disclaimer: all the characters and the lyrics belong to their respective   
owners  
  
Title: Last Song  
Type:Songfic ("Last Song" from X-Japan)  
Teaser:Yohji mourning the loss of Omi, Yohji self-blame  
Rating:G  
Warning:Shonen Ai  
Keywords:Omi, Schuldig,Yohji, Rain, God  
  
  
  
  
~Watching the stars til they're gone  
Like an actor all alone  
Who never knew the story he was in  
Who never knew the story ends  
Like the sky reflecting my heart  
All the colors become visible  
When the morning begins  
I'll read the last line~  
  
The stars seemed so dim tonight, could they be mourning the loss  
of an angel? A beautiful angel who had fallen from the grace of  
God...because of me, the tainted one, the sinner....  
  
Curse you God, why did You take my angel away? How can You make a  
mockery of my life again and again? Isn't it enough that I lost  
Auska? Why did you take Omi too? I felt the blood caking on my hands,   
another stain on my black heart....I could have saved him...Why? Why  
can't I save the only salvation I have? How can You God? How can You  
take my peace away? After so long, when I can finally find love  
again, Why did you take him away? Blast you, cruel God.....  
  
~In the endless rain, I've been walking  
like a poet feeling pain  
Trying to find the answers  
Trying to hide the tears  
But it was just a circle  
That never ends  
When the rain stops, I'll turn the page  
The page of the first chapter~  
  
I have held his slight figure in my arms, his sea-blue eyes bright  
on my face, gave me that smile of his ..."I love you, Yohji-kun, "  
and close his eyes slowly, Death taking the life of my love , he is  
never going to argue with me, laugh with me, kissed me, WHY?WHY?WHY?  
I felt like a character in a story, like those tragedy characters,   
helpless to change my fate, a fate dictated by an unseen hand. Why  
can't I jump out of the story to save my love?  
  
I closed my eyes from the onslaught of the pounding rain, my years  
mingling with the rain, down my cheeks. What's the use with rain?  
They can't wash away my sins, they can't take my pain away...If I  
have gone back to the alley earlier, if I haven't argue with Omi,  
Schuldig will never get him, will have the chance to kill him, Omi  
has done nothing wrong, except loving a fiend from hell, someone who  
doesn't deserve his love, who cannot give him the happiness he  
seek....

  
~Am I wrong to be hurt  
am I wrong to feel pain  
am I wrong to be in the rain  
am I wrong to wish the night won't end  
am I wrong to cry  
but I know, it's not wrong to sing THE LAST SONG  
cause forever fades~  
  
I have tainted him, touched him with my'dirty' hands and stained  
his innocence. Who am I? A sinner, someone who is evil, darkness is  
my only friend, I tried to push him away, afraid of losing another  
whom I loved, after all the obstacles, just when I began to hope to  
have happiness, that happiness is shattered, sending me back to the  
hell-hole I belong, letting the darkness engulfing me within its  
clutches, will my life ever be a never-ending story of despair? I  
yearn to hear his voice, feel his gentle hands brushing the frown  
from my face, smell that intoxicating scent as he walked near  
me....Why must I be a fiend? Why must destroyed everyone around me?  
  
Everything is my fault, everything , it's my stupid pride that  
killed Omi , all I ever want to do is to protect Omi, to nurture that  
innocent flower entrusted in my care...God , aren't You supposed to be  
ALL MIGHTY? Aren't we supposed to be your children? Why have You  
forsaken us...abandoned your creation?  
  
Empty, I feel so lost without Omi, he is my heart, if only I can  
turn back time, if only I have loved him more, he will never leave,   
will never be dead....  
  
"Yohji-kun, don't despair, it's not your fault..."  
I snapped my eyes open, Omi in front of me, his image fading from my  
view......

  
Wait, don't go, don't leave me, take me with you, where we can  
be together forever, Omi............


End file.
